Wednesday, February 20, 2019

WEP: 28 Days

Let me begin with an apology: I shouldn't even post this, because as I do so I'm heading out again for 9 days and will have limited chances to visit other posters. If you want to skip me because of that, I understand. If you comment anyway I WILL read your story--it will just take me a week or two.


998 words. FCA.

28 Days

Twenty-eight days isn’t very long. 

Twenty-eight days is an eternity. 

Sometimes it’s both at once. 

It was February 1st when I was given one month to meet the love of my life. To make it worse, I had to start from scratch, since I hadn’t had a date in longer than I wanted to admit.

I got lucky on the 3rd—I ran into my high school sweetheart at the Pac-N-Save (in the baking aisle, if you want to know. I was buying chocolate chips; I think he was lost). We chatted, and he was still single, so time being of the essence I set to work. Flirtation has never been my strong suit, but I made a point of exhibiting an unwarranted enthusiasm for his company.

You probably wonder how I ended up in such a mess. It was, as usual, thanks to my fairy godmother. She has a wee drinking problem, to use her slurred words. When she heard me lament that I hadn’t had a date in ages, she tried to bless me with a promise that I’d find the love of my life by the end of the month. Alas, she wasn’t quite sober, and what came out was more of a threat: “You must find your love,” etc. The “or else” wasn’t explicit, but it would be bad. That’s what she said when she sobered up and discovered what she’d done.

That’s why I was trolling for love in the Food4Less, and why I was prepared to be satisfied with my high school sweetheart, even though he was kind of a conceited idiot back then.

He still was, but I tried not to notice. Love conquers all, right?

I had my work cut out for me. In addition to my own inner resistance, I had to overcome whatever it was that made him dump me the night before our Senior Prom.

Over the next few days I contrived to bump into Brad just about everywhere except the men’s room. I knew I was making progress when, the second time I ran into him on the 6th, he asked me to go out for coffee with him. 

Unfortunately, once we were seated with our lattes, he asked me if I was stalking him. I don’t think he completely accepted my explanation about a new job that seemed to be sending me to all the same places he went. But he did agree to see me again, so I counted it as progress. It might have simply been his ego—it was so easy for him to believe a woman was chasing him.

The hard part for the next week was coming up with reasons why we should go out. Every. Single. Day. That, and keeping my smile pasted into place while he talked on and on about himself. I must have succeeded, because Brad began to come around to my place without me even asking.

It looked like I’d dodged my Fairy Godmother’s drunken bullet. I still had ten days left and Brad was eating out of my hand, even starting to drop hints about a ring.

There was only one problem. I didn’t really like him. In fact, I really didn’t like him (there’s a big difference). Would it break the curse if I married someone I didn’t love?

I asked my FG, but all she said was, “Hand me another beer, dearie.” My uncouth Fairy Godsot drinks Bud Light.

I was left with a dilemma: I’d not found anyone better than Brad, and while I didn’t exactly consider him my ideal man, he seemed to be getting genuinely fond of me. Anyway, he was my best option. My only option, actually.

Brad had to go out of town for work, and I spent the next three days debating if I should lure him on to the proposal I needed. When he got home and called me, I told him I had a migraine and couldn’t go out. I agonized all night over that decision.

I spent the morning of the 20th with Brad, who bored me to death. He assumed I was pale and listless because of the migraine I’d not had the night before.

That evening I cruised singles bars with my BFF, flirting with everything male. She kept asking, “What about Brad?” She knew all about him, but I couldn’t tell her about my Fairy Godsot. 

On the 22nd I turned down Brad’s proposal. He was justifiably furious at the way I’d led him on. I didn’t try to explain, not that he gave me the chance. 

I spent the 23rd to the 26th imitating the FG: I bought a few of boxes of cardboardeaux and stayed drunk the whole time. 

I called in sick to work, planning to drink until the sky fell March 1st.

My boss showed up on the 27th, worried because I’m never sick. Nor do I get drunk, so when he saw the wine boxes, he knew something was very wrong.

I was drunk enough to explain. He listened without comment, then said, “You have 15 minutes to shower and dress for work. Make the most of it, because I need to you to train the new guy.”

I groaned and rolled my eyes and cussed some, but he didn’t budge. I could see it all: he was going to try to set me up, and it would be another Les, the sexist pig from Accounting with wandering hands.

“It’s my nephew, Donal,” my boss added. Why would he set up his own nephew with a doomed drunk? The kid must be odious.

I wasn’t going to get myself hooked up with a Les, or a pimply youngster either, but I pulled myself together and the boss drove me to the office. He didn’t say anything more about his nephew, and I guessed he’d be a mess.

Donal was no Les, and he wasn’t a mess. 

I made the deadline. 




©Rebecca M. Douglass, 2019
As always, please ask permission to use any photos or text. Link-backs appreciated!




46 comments:

  1. Hi Rebecca - well you wrote a story ... which was great fun to read and I'm glad she missed out Brad - he sounded awful ... but what the FGM has in mind I wait to see - when you're back! Mine was a cop out ... so no rushing over! Cheers and have a good trip - Hilary

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    1. Thanks, Hilary! Of course, now I HAVE to go look at yours, to see just how you copped out :D

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  2. Sorta sounds like my own attempt at dating after April, only I wasn't looking to get hitched, just satisfied. 28 days can be a long time, indeed. It took me over a year of dating to realize I had found someone who could put up with me, and whom I found interesting enough to settle down with. At 57, I didn't expect fluttery sighs or hearts floating in the air.

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    1. LOL. At least you didn’t have a fairy godsot “helping” you.

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  3. Oh, how nice. I really didn't like Brad. I'm glad she ditched him and found a better guy.
    Love the idea of a drunken Fairy Godmother. So refreshing.

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  4. BTW: your badge is from the last year. The current badge is here:
    https://66.media.tumblr.com/92d9eaaa3d7b827684631cd6b20a3157/tumblr_pi6chdlgPQ1tj480ko1_1280.jpg

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    1. Oops! That’s what I get for trying to slap it together in a hurry with copy-and-paste. Can’t believe I didn’t notice that! I think I forgot that there’s a new badge for each month.

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    2. And my efforts to fix it created a blank, which is probably how it will have to stay until I get to a real computer. The iPad is very limited for this stuff :(

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  5. Thank goodness she didn't settle for Brad and found someone better at the last minute! Love the humour in this, especially the drunken Fairy "Godsot". ☺

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  6. That was an enjoyable read! I wondered how you would end it. Thank goodness she saw sense about Brad.

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    1. I really couldn’t let her marry that oaf. Not in a flash fiction—it would take a whole novel to unravel that mess :D

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  7. So fun!! Very glad that Brad is out of the picture!!! Great ending :)

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    1. Fun is what I was aiming for! Glad you liked the ending.

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  8. A drunken fairy godmother is a humorous story element, that works in a superb manner through your story. The ending was an unexpected but, pleasant surprise, well done Rebecca.

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    1. Thanks! I had my doubts about the ending but I had to find some way to rescue her without going over 1000 words :D I want to play more with the drunken FGM, though. Best of intentions, but a bit unreliable!

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  9. The concept of a drunken fairy godmother made me laugh. If fairy godmothers were real, this is exactly the sort of one I'd end up with, I'm sure of it. I'm glad she dodged the bullet that was Brad and found someone just in the nick of time. Well done!

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    1. I’m pretty sure that would be my fate, too. Or one with a warped sense of humor, which might be even worse.

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  10. Hi Rebecca. Your story is so refreshing. Glad she ditched the odious Brad even with her FG's threats. The ending was fun. Another whole story is a line.
    Enjoy your meanderings.

    Thanks for participating in WEP. It's always great to have you!
    And don't worry about the image. Strangely two people got confused. I blame the exact shading. In a hurry you could easily mistake one for the other.

    Denise

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  11. When it comes to love, I think I have a Fairy Godsot too. This was enjoyable. True, lasting Love is so hard to find, and everyone wants it in a hurry. So glad she made the deadline, lol.

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    1. I was feeling that way for a fair while before I found the love of my life. I definitely had some odd times! Been married now for 24 1/2 years, so I guess mine got her act together.

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  12. Fun, delightful flash. Glad she didn't settle for Brad. Loved the humour and the ending.

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  13. I love your opening lines and the 'one month to meet the love of my life' part is great hook. I was instantly wondering why. I certainly wasn't expecting it to involve a drunken fairy godmother! I'm glad she turned down Brad's proposal and it all worked out in the end. This was a fun story, and several parts, like the 'few of boxes of cardboardeaux', made me smile.

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    1. Got to admit I saw the cardbordeau reference somewhere recently and decided it was perfect.

      Glad you enjoyed it!

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  14. A fairytale with a drunken twist; I like it. Glad she didn't end up with Brad; it could have ended as a horror story. She needs to fire her fairy godmother or at least get her in AA. Fun story.

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  15. Ha ha ha ha ha... a little disjointed at times, but then it was probably supposed to be :) I think your dedication to your craft in the middle of your holiday of a lifetime is admirable!

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    1. I wrote it when we were stuck in the hut while my son was sick. Rainy day and no hiking meant time to write!

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  16. That was a great story, lovely touch of humour and so glad you gave it a HEA.

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  17. You can't beat a drunken FG to make a story sing! I thoroughly enjoyed your WEP 28 Days submission, Rebecca.

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    1. LOL—read this while tired and had to read it twice to be sure you didn’t think I’d been beating fairy godmothers :D

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  18. Lol, wasn't expecting her to dump Brad the last minute. Let's hope the FG is not involved in anything from now on.

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    1. I couldn’t let her marry that turkey! Not unless I wanted a much longer story, or something pretty grim :)

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  19. Well done. I liked this and am glad you did post it. Made me smile by the end of it. I think I'd ask for another fairy godmother, but on second thought maybe not. She did get that romance a start or maybe a push. . .

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    1. Thanks! I’m always happy when I’ve given someone a smile or a laugh. I suspect that the whole FG thing is more risky than we’ve been led to believe.

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  20. Hi Rebecca. Too funny. I had a smile on all the way through. I love fer struggle to find the right guy. And I would have been disappointed if she had settled on Brad. The ending was just enough to satisfy. Well done.
    Nancy

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  21. I once wrote a story about a crusty curmudgeon of a tooth fairy who passes on his unwanted job to a couple of unsuspecting kids. It was a lot of fun.
    There was no need to apologize for having to be off and running. I'm still visiting the various posters. I aim for five a day, but it doesn't always happen. Also, I am terrible about getting around to returning visits! So, at least you aren't me. :-)
    Horror Harridans Writing Sisterhood

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  22. Speed dating? Bud Light style? Donal right for herself.

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  23. Hi,
    So she finally found her man! I'm laughing because I just love the ending. I'm so glad you posted.
    Outstanding story. You had me from the first line to the last.
    Shalom aleichem,
    Pat G

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  24. I'm still doing the WEP rounds. Better late than never, right?
    I love your chatty, light-hearted style. So refreshing. I was totally sucked in and it was a smooth reading experience all the way through.

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    1. Thank you! I’m still checking out stories, too :) It’s getting to be a lot of them to read all at once!

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