Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Free Story!

The following rather long post is actually a short story.  Since the format doesn't work for traditional publication, I decided to offer it here for anyone who wants to read it.  The entire story is contained in a series of "honey do" notes.



Copyright Rebecca M. Douglass

Dear Dana: I found these notes in Granddad's desk after he died in 1980. I think they will answer your questions about why they sold the old place in ‘72.
Yours, Jamie

May 1, 1971
Bob Dear, this weekend could you:
       Mend the garden fence
       Take down the storm windows
       The blackberries are getting awfully close to the pasture fence. Better trim them.
Thanks for the new notepad! Love, Mabel.

May 22, 1971
Honey, please:
        Finish spading the kitchen garden  (I have GOT to get things planted)
        Take down the storm windows
        Mow the lawn
        Cut the blackberries back from the pasture fence
Thanks! Mabel. (Yes, the cold weather is over. Take down the windows, Bob!)

May 29, 1971
        Put up the screens
        Mow the lawn. Borrow Joe's mower if you can't fix ours.
        Wash front windows
        Prune rhododendron by front gate
       Cut the blackberries back to the pasture fence

July 10, 1971
I gave you last weekend off for the Fourth, so quit your bellyaching, Bob.
        Wash the windows.
        Mow the part of the lawn that shows, okay?
        Prune the rhodie. I can't get the gate open!
        Please cut the blackberries away from the horse trough. There will still be plenty for jam.

July 31, 1971
       Weed the potatoes
        Pick peas and beans
        Dig the dandelions from the front lawn
        Cut the blackberries out of the horse trough

August 21, 1971
        Prune the rhodie on the front gate
        Weed the potatoes
        Water the lawn, Bob. I know it makes it grow. That's the idea.
        Cut the blackberries back from the pasture gate

August 28, 1971
       Pick blackberries, then cut them back from the gate.
       So MOW the lawn. It's your JOB!
       Weed the potatoes
       Repair the front gate

October 16, 1971
       Build a new front gate
       Cut the blackberries back to the pasture gate
       Put up the storm windows
—Mabel. I know it's too early for the storm windows. Nag now and avoid the rush!

October 23,1971
        Mow the lawn
        Spade under the garden
       Hack the blackberries off the bottom lawn
—Mabel. P.S. Thanks for the lovely new front gate.

November 13, 1971
       Put up the storm windows
       Tie up the rosebushes
       Cut blackberries on back lawn

November 27, 1971
       Hang Christmas lights
       Pick the winter squash
       Get Jim to plow the garden
       Get those blackberries now, while they're dormant!
   Happy Thanksgiving! Mabel

 December 4, 1971
        They are so dormant.
        Hang Christmas lights
        Get decorations down from the attic

December 18, 1971
        Do your Christmas shopping. I wear size 12.
        Get those Christmas decorations down from the attic.
        Oh, leave the blackberries alone for once. Merry Christmas!
 —Love, Mabel

January 29, 1972
       Take down the Christmas lights
        Organize the tax stuff
        Repair the garden fence
        Cut the blackberries away from the roses below the garden
—Mabel. P.S. It's not that cold. You will NOT get frostbite taking down the lights.

March 4,1972
        Do the taxes
        Clean the mud off the front porch
        Get the blackberries away from the garden fence
        Order seed potatoes

 April 8, 1972
        Start the taxes—they're due next week.
        Call Jim to come and plow the garden for me.
        Beat the blackberries away from the garden plot.
        It really is time to take the storm windows down.
        Repair the garden fence. I saw deer tracks down there already.

April 15, 1972
       Tax forms are on your desk, pencils in the kitchen drawer, calculator in my purse.

April 22, 1972
        Go down to Gibson's Hardware and pick up the seeds
       Take down the storm windows
       The blackberries will not keep the deer away. Repair the fence.
        P.S. Cut the blackberries back from the garden gate.  Bet you thought I forgot!

May 13,1972
        Plant the potatoes where Jim plowed for us
        Mow the lawn down to the garden
        Cut the blackberries off the garden gate
       P.S. If you had cut the blackberries, you could have repaired the fence without
a trip to Doc Wilson.

June 3,1972
        Forget the rest of the garden.  Just keep the blackberries away from the tomatoes, okay?
        Mow the front lawn
        Put up the screens

June 17, 1972
        Put up the screens
        Mow the front lawn
        Rescue the tomatoes from the blackberries!

July 1, 1972
        Mow the front lawn
        Wash the windows
        Keep those blackberries off my tomatoes!

July 15, 1972
        Hack the blackberries off the upper garden fence
        Water the tomatoes I transplanted to the front flowerbeds
        P.S. I don't think we should have taken that week's vacation over the Fourth.

July 29, 1972
        Chop the blackberries off the upper lawn
        Pick up potatoes, lettuce, and turnips at the grocery store
        Mow the front lawn
        Water the tomatoes

August 12, 1972
        Chop the blackberries off the back porch
        Water the front lawn and the tomatoes
        Edge the front walk

 August 26, 1972
        Hack the blackberries away from the back door
        Trim the rhodies at the front gate
        Wash the front windows
        Mow the front lawn
 —Mabel. P.S. Have you noticed those nice new houses in town, over on Maple Street?

 September 2, 1972
       Repaint front porch and fence
       Pick the tomatoes from flowerbeds
       Get those blackberries out of the back hall!
       Open house at the Development Sunday afternoon. Let's just go take a look.

September 23, 1972
        Hack blackberries off the hall door
        Take out the trash
        Talk to Mary Pat over at the Realty

 October 7, 1972
        Barricade kitchen door against blackberries
        Clean your den
        Don't forget, escrow closes Tuesday afternoon

October 14, 1972
        Wash the front windows
        Mow the lawn
        Put up the storm windows
        Mail change-of-address forms


  1. Great story, Rebecca. Lots of chuckles from this one! Best laugh I've had today on the desk.

  2. Glad I could brighten your morning! :)

  3. Perfect and yes, I totally identify with this!

  4. Thanks for the laugh. I fought the Battle of the Blackberries every year when I lived in Portland. Those things are evil.


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