Thursday Flash Fiction: The Horror of Spam

Yeah, I know. "Flash Fiction Thursday" doesn't alliterate like it does on Friday. But I  do like to post to Chuck Wendig's challenges on Thursday, before everyone has lost interest.

This week's challenge was to write a bit of horror framed as a spam email. I didn't go very horrific, of course. In fact, at first I thought I couldn't do this at all. But while I was out biking on Sunday it occurred to me that one kind of scam/spam was perfectly suited to a Halloween theme, if not real horror: the grandchild in need.  Chuck suggested limiting this one to under 500 words; mine is only 367 including the title. I regret that I cannot reproduce the machine-translated English of most spam (well, no, I don't regret it at all. But you know. I had to say it).

The Horror of Spam, the Spam of Horror

To: Grandma
Subject: Need help!

Dear Grandma,
I am in such trouble and I need your help. I was on our school trip to Romania and we were staying in this really cool castle in Transylvania. So I totally fell in love with our host, this guy Vladimir who lives in the castle. He is sooooo cute! And he says he loves me too, but he’s pretty desperate so I don’t know.

See, now he’s saying that he wants to keep me forever, and that I need to give him money. I mean, I know that castles like his cost a lot to run, and that’s why he rents it out to tourists and sleeps in the basement. Well, in the crypt, really, but it’s totally nice and dry and all, and he says he doesn’t mind a few dead ancestors. Real aristocrats are so much more matter-of-fact about that stuff, aren’t they?

But if I don’t come up with the money, he says—well, I never noticed his teeth, because you know, guys with those smoky sultry good looks don't grin or anything. He’s making me kind of nervous, I mean this is Transylvania after all. And I don’t think I want to be his bride, even if he is a Count, and for sure I don’t want to let him bite me on the neck. But that’s the thing: he says if you don’t send money, I can either join him in his crypt or he’ll give me to his friend Wolfgang. The one Vlad calls “Vulfie” with a raised eyebrow, just to make sure I know what sort he is.

I’m afraid I kind of boasted about how rich we are, when I was first getting to know Vlad. I mean, he’s a Count, you know? I didn’t want him to think I’m from some ordinary family. So he wants like, a million dollars? Please, scrape up whatever you can and wire it to me at 1600 Transylvania Avenue, Transylvania, Romania, unless you want your favorite granddaughter turned into a vampire. Or eaten by a werewolf.

Your loving Granddaughter,
Elvira

P.S. Hope your arthritis is better!

Middle Grade Fantasy: Lycanthor the Werewolf

 

Title: Lycanthor the Werewolf (The Dragon Fyre Blade, Book 1)     
Author: Aiden Storm 
Illustrator: McCartney Leopardi 
Publication Date: July 1, 2014
Publisher: Dreaming Empire; 71 pages  
Source: Advance review copy

Publisher's Summary:
Thirteen year old Jack is spending the summer at his Aunt’s house in the country. Unfortunately, it’s done nothing but rain and he’s stuck in her old mansion without cable or internet. Bored and alone, he sets out to explore the house. When he reaches the attic, he finds an intricate and unusual mural painted on the walls. Life for Jack gets turned upside down when he stumbles and is transported through a portal into a magical world.

For Jasyra, the daughter of the High King, life couldn’t be worse. Her father has been turned to glass, her kingdom has been taken over by the Demon Emperor, and she and her friend, Evooku, have been exiled. The only way to save the land is to reassemble the Dragon Fyre Blade, but the Demon Emperor has hidden all six pieces and each is guarded by great mythical beasts. There is only one person who can help restore peace, but it has been said that he is not of their land.

When Jack awakens in the Great Forest of Karandur, he encounters Jasyra and Evooku. He discovers the only way home is to band together to fight the evil Lycanthor, a giant werewolf that guards a piece of the Dragon Fyre Blade. But first they have to make it through an enchanted land full of danger.

The Queen of Light appears to Jack and delivers a gift, as well as a revelation. He, Jasyra and Evooku form an unlikely friendship along the way and lasting bonds are made when they realize they are Karandur’s only hope. Will the trio be able to defeat Lycanthor and save the kingdom from an eternity of despair?

The Dragon Fyre Blade: Lycanthor the Werewolf is the first book in a series of six and is written for children 7 – 11 years old.

My Review:
I admit I wasn't sure at first if I would like this. The opening scene was a little violent, and then the story was revealed to be of the normal-kid-falls-into-fantasy-world type. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The Narnia books follow that pattern, for Pete's sake. But I've been feeling a little tired of it, so I was a little biased as I began.

Storm's fast-paced writing blew away that prejudice for the most part. The action is gripping, but I think the author found a good balance between believable peril and too much intensity for the younger children. I would say that my biggest issue with the book is that characters and relationships aren't adequately developed. The book is so short (under 70 pages per my electronic copy) that there is little time to explore Jack's confusion at finding himself in a new world, let alone give us a clear sense of Jasyra and what she is thinking or feeling.

What the story didn't do to keep my attention, the illustrations did. McCartney Leopardi's line drawings are vivid and active, and Lycanthor is truly frightening. The full-page black and white drawings add a lot to the pleasure of the book.

It's easy to see how and why the story is being broken into six books--one for each piece of the blade. But this first piece is found quickly enough to make me wonder if the whole story couldn't have been made into a single book, or a trilogy of books at a more typical length for the age range (at least the upper part. Ages 7-12 covers a wide range of reading levels). To me the book read more like a short story, or an early chapter book.

Recommendation:
I think this will be enjoyed by fantasy fans of all sorts, but I would say it is especially suited to the younger end of the middle grades--say ages 7-9.

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About the Author: Aiden Storm

Aiden grew up a city boy, but always loved getting out into the country. As a kid, his great uncle always took him to old castles, famous battlegrounds and long hikes in the wilderness. These days, Aiden lives in old cottage next to the forest with his dog Blade. When not writing Aiden spends time exploring the woods, dead certain they’re full of fantastical creatures, long lost relics and ancient magic…

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Full Disclosure: I was given a free electronic copy of  Lycanthor the Werewolf  in exchange for my honest review as a part of a Mother-Daughter Book Reviews book review blitz. The opinions expressed are my own and those of no one else. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."