Showing posts with label cats. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cats. Show all posts

Monday, August 13, 2018

Middle Grade Monday: The Shadow of the Minotaur

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Title:
The Shadow of the Minotaur (Shadows from the Past #2)
Author: Wendy Leighton-Porter
Publisher: Mauve Square Publishing, 2012. 234 pages.
Source: Purchased from Amazon

Publisher's Blurb:

Ten-year-old twins Joe and Jemima Lancelot continue the search for their missing parents who are trapped somewhere in the past. Together with their friend, Charlie, and their unusual talking cat, Max, they are whisked back in time to ancient Crete and the palace of Knossos, where the fearsome Minotaur resides in its labyrinth, feeding on human flesh. Can they help Prince Theseus of Athens overcome the terrifying monster before it devours them all? And will the children survive the terrible storm which threatens to wreck their ship as they attempt to flee the island?

My Review: 
This is such a great series! The adventure ramps up right from the start, and doesn't quit. It helps that this time, the kids know what's happening, and what to expect (they learned fast from their first adventure!).  There's no time lost in trying to figure out what's happening. It's also nice that Max can communicate. I love his outsized ego and decidedly cat-like personality. Max may be one of the great cats of literature.

The author does an amazing job of balancing the scary aspects of the story--there are real threats to the children--with a level of humor that keeps it "safe" for younger readers (Max is a big help here). Leighton-Porter also makes good use of the myths that are out there for the reading, not changing "history," but filling in some of the, er, shadows around them. In particular, she gives personality to the mythical characters [minor spoilers!], so that we find that Theseus is a bit of a jerk, and Ariadne, to my delight, is shocked out of her infatuation with a little help from Jemima, and her ending may not be quite what the more ancient sources thought. Nice to introduce a little feminism to the early civilizations!

I greatly enjoyed the first book in the series, and I think this one might be even better. I have #3 queued up and look forward to continuing the series--I think there are 8 books, and since this is one of my choices for the GMGR "Finish the Series" challenge, I have a lot of reading to do!

Note: Wendy Leighton-Porter has a story in the BookElves Anthology, as do I. This association may have influenced my decision to start reading the series, but it did not influence my review, and the decision to continue with the series is purely the result of a great reading experience.

My Recommendation:
This is a great series for readers 8-12. A bit of exposure to mythology, in the wrapping of an exciting adventure with a touch of humor. What more could you want?

FTC Disclosure: I purchased The Shadow of the Minotaur, and received nothing from the writer or publisher for my honest review. The opinions expressed are my own and those of no one else. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising." 

Friday, December 15, 2017

Friday Flash: A Pismawallops PTA Christmas, Part II

Last week our intrepid heroine and her side-kick found a kitten ravaging the tables of the PTA holiday bazaar. This week, they deal with finding the cat a home, against all the odds. I ran a bit over, at 1050 words.



A Pismawallops PTA Christmas, Part II

I put my hands on my hips and glared at Kitty. The kitty in her arms poked its furry little face toward me and mewed.

“How on earth do you intend to persuade Arne Hancock to adopt that creature?”

“It’s a kitten, JJ, not a ‘creature.’ And I have about three minutes to come up with the answer to that,” she added.

“While we tidy his table,” I pointed out. “I think it will go a lot better if he doesn’t see what the kitten did to his rainbows.” I left her trying to hold the cat in one arm while she moved potholders around with her free hand. Trotting across the gym, I flipped the switch that started the music, then scurried back the other way to open the door. Three PTA parents stood outside with trays and platters of baked goods.

I took the goodies, directed the one donor who was willing to stay to help Kitty, and tried to match the desserts with Patty Reilly’s signs. Fortunately, Patty came in before I could make too much of a mess of things, and I went back to directing people and coping with emergencies.

I spotted Arne at the door, and, a quick glance showing me that Kitty and her helper weren’t done with the table, set myself to delay him a minute or two.

“Oh, Arne. Glad to see you.” I clutched his arm, turning him so his back was to the scurry around his table. “Do you have the pricing tags for the art table?”

He looked at me, confused by the question, as well he might be. “I’m in charge of the crafts table, Ms. MacGregor, not the art.” He looked at my hand on his arm, and I got the message. I let him go.

“I’m sorry. I just thought that since you’re the art teacher… ” My words trailed off as he turned and saw what Kitty and Amy were doing.

“Why are they messing up my display?”

“Um, they’re just straightening up a bit. There was, ah, a bit of an accident.”

“Again?” His lips narrowed. “I fail to see why my table should be the one cast into disarray by every clumsy lout,” he began, then stopped. “I’m sorry. I suppose one of you bumped it while trying to do too much. No harm done,” he said without conviction as he hurried away to see to his goods.

I watched Kitty turn her back and trot off as he approached, the kitten now snuggled inside her gaudy Santa snowman sweater. I cut across the room at an angle to intercept her.

“I don’t know why Arne is so fussed about his perfect arrangement of potholders,” I murmured when I caught her. “The shoppers will reduce it to chaos in minutes in any case.”

She laughed. “And he’ll spend the whole time trying to restore it to order.”

“What are you going to do with the furball there?” I asked. “Even if Arne does adopt it, you have to do something with it for the day.”

“I’m not sure. I only know I have to keep her out of sight, because if Kat and Sarah see her, I’ll have another mouth to feed at my house.”

“Don’t look at me,” I said. “I’m allergic.”

Kitty didn’t believe me, but I was gone before she could challenge that, off to calm another crisis. I called back over my shoulder, “take it to the teachers’ room and give it some milk!” I’d have to get along without my partner for a while.

The bazaar had opened while I was running around, and shoppers were swarming over the tables, especially the treats. I checked to make sure Amy was at the cashier’s table, and had everything she needed, then went to get the lids for the cups of coffee and hot cider we were selling.

After that, I spent my day dashing from table to table, giving people a break where needed, fetching whatever had been forgotten, and trying to keep a smile pasted on my face so I wouldn’t scare off the customers. Patty slipped me a broken cookie or two, and my coffee cup stayed filled, or I wouldn’t have made it.

Eventually, Arne Hancock waved me over. “I need a break,” he announced. “The crowd is getting rather large and loud and I must go somewhere quiet for a time.”

How on earth did this guy survive teaching high school kids? I hid my smile, and told him I could give him ten minutes.

“I’m going to the teachers’ room,” he said, and was off before I remembered.

Kitty had left the kitten sleeping in a box in the teachers’ room. I hoped Furball would keep quiet.

***
Arne didn’t return. I needed to leave the table and take care of business, like finding a bathroom to offload the four cups of coffee I’d drunk. Where was he?

I finally got someone over to take my place with the potholders, and found Kitty. “We need to find Arne. He went off to take his break and never came back.”

“Where’d he… oh, no!” Kitty said.

“Oh, yes. If that cat got out and made a mess in the teachers’ room, we will never hear the end of it.” We raced down the breezeway between the gym and the main school building, dreading what we might find. Opening the door of the teachers’ room, we came to a dead halt.

Arne sat on the floor, surrounded by wads of crumpled paper. As we watched, he tossed one to the kitten, who pounced on it and batted it back to him. The stressed-out art teacher had a blissful smile on his face as he reached out to stroke the soft kitten-fur.

When at last he noticed us, he looked up, unperturbed. “You’ll have to get on without me over there. Someone abandoned this poor animal, and I need to take care of her.” He frowned. “It’s not yours, is it?”

“No,” Kitty managed to answer. “I found her in the gym.”

“Excellent. Then I shall take her home and see that she is cared for properly.”

We closed the door before we turned to grin at each other.

Two lonely creatures had found each other.

 ***

©Rebecca M. Douglass, 2017
As always, please ask permission to use any photos or text. Link-backs appreciated!

Enjoyed the story? Take a look at the Pismawallops PTA mysteries.
What do you serve when all you have in the freezer is an ice-cold corpse?
JJ MacGregor thinks it’s hard enough to hold the Pismawallops PTA together when a new mom starts tossing out insults.  She discovers it’s even harder when the woman shows up dead where the ice cream bars should have been.

http://bookShow.me/B019HK8VI6
 Formal dances, final exams, and dead bodies. School’s almost out at Pismawallops High!
JJ thought starting the day without coffee was a disaster, but now there's a dead musician behind the Pismawallops High School gym. His trombone is missing, and something about the scene is off key. JJ and Police Chief Ron Karlson are determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, but will they be able to work harmoniously or will discord ruin the investigation? With the music teacher as the prime suspect, JJ could be left to conduct the band, and then Graduation might truly end in a death by trombone, or at least the murder of Pomp and Circumstance!

Friday, June 24, 2016

#Flashback Friday

 

I recently (thanks, Jemima Pett!) stumbled on the Flashback Friday blog hop run by Michael G D'Agostino, and couldn't help thinking it would be a great help during the summer when I'm often on the road--or the trail--and can't post in the usual way. This is one of those weeks, plus Chuck didn't give us a prompt this week, so I've crawled around in the archives and hauled up and old story. A little dusting off, and here we go. From 11/31/2013:

The Cat Did It

Now, I’m not saying the cat was plotting to kill me.  But.

It started with football practice.  I’m not really supposed to be there anyway, since no one thinks a girl should play football.  Mom says nobody should play football, and she was only letting me play as long as it was flag football.  That gave me one more year.  After that, the only options were to convince her I could play tackle ball or quit.  Maybe I could find a rugby team.  Bet Mom would love that!

But at practice last week, we were horsing around, tackling each other and wrestling and stuff, only I looked around and saw my cat.  He was just sitting on the sidelines watching us, but he wasn’t supposed to be there at all.  He’s supposed to stay in the house.  He raised a hind leg to wash his backside, and I started to turn toward him.  I meant to catch him and take him home so he wouldn’t get hit by a car.  I mean, I was trying to keep him safe, even though I don’t really like him.  But just as I turned, Jakob hit me.

I was all off balance and twisted up, so I fell and hurt my ankle.  By the time I finished yelling at Jakob, Boswell—that’s what Mom named the cat—was gone.  And Coach said my ankle might be sprained and he called Mom to take me to the doctor.  She had to leave work early and she chewed me out all the way to the hospital.

That finished my season, probably the last season of football I’d ever get to play, and I missed the last two weeks.  I was stuck with a taped-up ankle and a pair of crutches mostly good for whacking people.  Jakob was off the team for hurting me, too.  I thought that was pretty unfair, since he hadn’t meant to hurt me, and I’d actually started the rough-housing.  But I didn’t feel as bad about him as I did about me, because Mom said I wasn’t playing any more blood sports, whatever she meant by that.  She said I should learn to play tennis.  Tennis!  No way am I putting on one of those silly short skirts.

Then the cat started in.  Mom says poor Boswell just wants attention, but why does he have to come looking for it when I’m on the stairs?  He’d come and rub around my foot and my crutches, and Mom said he was just being a cat, and I needed to be careful.

I’ve always suspected him of wanting to do away with us all, if only he could figure out the can opener.  And yesterday he scored again.  I was pretty sure he’d managed to get my ankle sprained.  He probably had hoped I’d break my neck, but I’m pretty tough.  Anyway, it was definitely his fault I was hurt, sneaking out and over to the practice field and all. 

But yesterday morning he got down to it and started really playing dirty.  He’d figured out that I wouldn’t start down the stairs if he was anywhere around, so he held off his attack until I was already halfway down.

Lucky for me, he waited a little too long.  I was only three steps from the bottom when he came out of Mom and Dad’s room like a furry lightning bolt, and flew down the stairs right into my left crutch, just as I was making the move from the third step to the second.

Boswell knocked that crutch out from under me, and bang!  Down I went.  Then he walked up to me where I was lying on the floor yelling, and gave me an evil look.  He said one loud “Meow!” then sat down and licked his butt in the most insulting way.  He stalked off when Mom came running.

Of course, Mom didn’t believe me when I said Boswell had done it on purpose.  She told me to be more careful, and brought me an ice pack for where I’d bumped my head, and another for my ankle because it was time to ice it again anyway.

Then she left me on the sofa and went off to work.  As soon as she was gone, Boswell padded back in and sat on his haunches and just looked at me.  I knew what he was thinking.  At one point he tried to dash up and lick my face.  I mean, ewwww!  I’d just seen what he used that tongue for!  I got my hands up just in time and shoved him away, pretty hard.

Every time I got up to go get a snack or pee or anything, he was right there underfoot.  Mom says he felt bad for hurting me and rubbing up against me was his way of showing his love, but I know better.  Cats don’t do remorse, and they love food, not people.

I’ve taken to whacking him some with my crutch, so he’ll stay away.  Mom got mad when she saw me do it, but I’ve taught Boswell I’m not going to go without a fight.    I’m just afraid he’ll manage to get into my room while I’m asleep.  He could smother me in my sleep and I’d never know it.  He’s always tried to sleep on my face. 

I know he’s plotting to kill me, and I know why.

I’m just a practice run.  He and his cronies—I hear them all yowling about it at night, when Mom thinks he’s safely in his basket behind the dryer—are plotting to take over the world.  I saw Boswell with three neighbor cats yesterday.  They didn’t see me looking out the window—I stayed out of sight behind the curtain.  But I saw them, and I know what they’re up to.

I’ve seen it.  The cat is plotting to kill me, and anyone else who won’t become the willing slave of catdom.  I’m guessing they’ll keep Mom around to run the can opener.

###
©Rebecca M. Douglass, 2013
Oh, they look so innocent!

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Friday, November 21, 2014

Split Second: A Xavier Xanthum Story

It's Flash Fiction Friday, and I've taken up another of the Douglass-Pett challenges. The title for this week was "Split Second," and the comment that it had been a long time since Xavier Xanthum had made an appearance gave me direction. Kitty Comet made his first appearance around Christmas time last year...


Split Second

Xavier Xanthum, Space Explorer, lounged in his PT pod, watching the nearby planetoid and playing with his cat. The pod had the best view window on the Wanderlust, and made a nice place to help Kitty Comet learn to cope with low gravity. And if watching a kitten play on a planet’s surface was amusing, watching one play in free-fall was even more so.

“Just one more try, Kitty,” he encouraged.

Larry’s voice came over the speaker. “You need to exercise in at least ¾ Earth Gravity, Xavier.”

Xavier looked around and spotted Larry. The disembodied eyeballs that were the computer’s manifestation floated behind him. “I’m helping Comet adjust to Zero G.” Xavier held up a string, which followed his hand in a lazy ripple. The cat leapt from the wall, trying to grab the string before she floated on to thump gently on the opposite wall. “I didn’t come in here to work out. I came for the view. Isn’t it beautiful?”

Xavier gestured at the view window, and Larry’s eyeballs rolled a bit in that direction.

“Under the definition of ‘beautiful’ constructed from your preferences and those of others, yes. Are you going to land?” Larry never could quite forget that he was a computer, though a thoroughly self-willed computer.

“Don’t know. Is it mapped?”

“Negative. It does not appear to be included in the quadrant maps for this System.”

Xavier sat up, interested. He let go of the string, which began a very slow drift toward the recirc intake. Comet snatched it, and kitten and string tumbled in mid-air, tangling together. Xavier watched with a smile, but his mind was already on the possibilities the planet presented.

“This could be our big break, Larry,” Xavier said. “Who knows what might be down there?”

A silence ensured, during which Larry ran something through his electronic mind. He liked to pretend that he thought at human speeds. “I wish you hadn’t said that,” was his eventual and un-computerish response.

Xavier noticed his computer’s odd response, and didn’t rush. He did find that thinking first increased the chances of survival, in any case. Scooping up the kitten, he pushed off toward the control room, thinking. Whatever Larry had noticed, it hadn’t been definite enough for him to say right out. But he’d seen something.

An hour later, Xavier gave up. “Larry, I can’t find a thing wrong with this planet. What has you so jumpy?” He maneuvered the ship into a somewhat closer orbit, in hopes of learning more without actually landing.

“I'm not sure, Captain.”

Xavier whistled softly. Larry calling him “Captain” was a bad sign. Larry admitting to not knowing something was worse.

“Look at the cat,” Larry commanded suddenly. Xavier spun around, grabbed a grip-bar to stop his spin, and spotted the cat. Comet was staring at the small view window, and her fur stood up all along her back. Her tail was twice as big around as usual, which made it huge, because in low gravity her fur stood out a lot in any case.

“You don’t like it, Comet?”

“Meow!” The fur-ball turned her back on the window. The control room had just enough gravity for her to sit, raise a hind leg, and wash her unmentionables, in a clear act of defiance. Her fur did not settle down.

“Wow.” Xavier wasn’t sure if he’d said it or Larry. The cat had never reacted like this before, and both the human and the computer eyes lingered on her before turning to consider the orb beneath them.

“Still, I’d like to go down,” Xavier said. “I can’t really let a cat make my decisions for me.” He looked at the cat again. “Full scan of the surface, Larry, with everything we have.”

Man, floating eyeballs, and cat stared intently at the views and data that filled every screen in the control room. Then the cat backed up, fur again standing on her back, a low growl coming from her throat. A bit later, Xavier thought he saw something. Again, the cat growled.

“Larry, did you see what it was? I just caught a flash—something on screen 3B for a split second—out of the corner of my eye.”

“I will replay that segment.” It was as close as Larry would come to saying he had missed something. A computer ought to be able to see everything, but computer scan was not the same as the old Mark I eyeball. Even if the eyeball was disembodied. This time, as the scan ran, Larry kept one eye on the cat, and the other tracked where the cat was looking. Nothing happened.

“Okay, we might have to go down just to see what’s happening.” Xavier had a hunch they shouldn’t, but he couldn’t run from a planet because something down there scared his cat. He began the descent sequence, while Larry and Comet kept watching the surface.

Xavier’s hands were on the controls to bring them into the final swing around the planet when Larry said, “Pull up now. Now.” His voice had lost all human tones. That, combined with Comet’s yowling, convinced Xavier. With less than a second to spare before he was committed to landing, he grabbed the direct controls, breaking the orbit just as…something…reached for the ship.

Shaken, Xavier stared at the vid screens. “What—what was that? And how did you know?”

“The space body appears to be sentient, not planetoid,” Larry’s flat computer-voice reported. “The cat saw it blink. It reached for us. It is good you have quick reflexes.”

“And that gave me a split second to pull out,” Xavier said. He buried his shaking hands in the cat’s fur. “That was close. Thanks, Comet. Larry, file a report with the proper authorities, and take us out of here. Comet and I are going to take a nap.”

The cat was already curled up on nothing, nose to tail, ready to sleep off the effects of so nearly ceasing to exist.

©Rebecca M. Douglass, 2014


Friday, September 5, 2014

Friday Fiction: Dahlia

I think I'm getting my mojo back. This week's story came to me at the sight of a "lost cat" (or maybe dog) poster glimpsed while I was biking. I'm pretty sure the pet's name was Dahlia, and I couldn't help thinking that was a name to offend a cat. The story unfolded itself from there. And next week's story again grew out of something seen while out riding. I guess I need to ride more to write more? In any case, it's nice to have the ideas flowing again, though not necessarily coming from the usual prompts.
###

Dahlia

On a grey and gloomy day on moderately quiet street in a medium-sized town, a woman of more or less middle age moved from lamp post to lamp post, taping up signs. Each featured a photo of a large marmalade cat and read, “MISSING CAT! Dahlia is lost! She is lonely, cold and scared. Won’t you help me find her?” and gave a phone number to call if the cat was seen. The woman shivered as she worked, and drew her sweater more tightly about her shoulders.

Meanwhile, across town on a rather less quiet street, a large marmalade cat relaxed in a nightclub, enjoying the scene. Word of the notices came by roundabout means. The small furry dog who lived three houses down from Dahlia and the woman saw the notices, and told Tom, the feral cat who stole his kibble, and Tom told the bird known as Shut-up-you-dirty-old-bird. Shut-up lived at the nightclub and came right home to tell Dahlia.

“Awk! Tom says that Killer Instinct says that your human is looking for you.”

“So?”

“She thinks you’re lost.” Both animals had a good laugh over that, before Dahlia asked for particulars. “Put up signs, that’s how. Killer I. saw them himself.”

When the nightclub finally closed, Dahlia took a nap. The cat got up and went out to see the signs at first light. “You know,” Dahlia growled to Killer Instinct, “Not only am I not lost, cold, lonely or scared, but I’m really not a Dahlia, either, if you know what I mean. I’m more of a James Dean. Or maybe Lord somebody.”

Killer Instinct nodded. It was true. The nice lady, who really was good at opening cans of cat food, and even handed out dog treats if you shook hands or did anything silly like that, wasn’t very observant. She tended to think of all dogs as “he” and cats, like boats, as “she.” She had never noticed that Dahlia was, in fact, a male cat.  Before Killer Instinct could offer any suggestions, a door opened nearby, and a voice called into the night.

“Fluffy! Fluffers, you bad dog! Come in now and I’ll give you your treats!”

Killer I. tried not to look at the cat, and trotted off.

“Dogs,” muttered James Dean. “Always thinking with their stomachs.” The cat formerly known as Dahlia stalked back down the street, tail erect. “Anyone who called me ‘Fluffers’ would live to regret it,” was his final take on the matter, though no one was present to hear, Shut Up having stayed at the nightclub to get his beauty sleep.

And yet. As James Dean, Feline Rebel, made his way back across town to the nightclub, he couldn’t help thinking of The Woman. He knew what that poster meant. Sooner or later someone would recognize him. What was she thinking, saying he was scared, anyway? He wasn’t scared of anything!

The Speakeasy wouldn’t open for hours, but the cook at the diner on Main Street always gave him a sausage when he came around, so he hung out there in the mornings, working the breakfast crowd and napping in an empty booth when business was slow. Late morning, he moved to the Café three doors down, and napped in their front window. The staff there thought he added a classy touch.

Mid afternoon, he headed back toward the Nightclub. It wouldn’t open for hours, but he could get in some quality napping before the music started. But when he turned onto a side street, his eye was caught by a poster. One of his posters.

So The Woman had ventured this far from her easy chair and her lace curtains for him! He thought that ought to make him feel something. He remembered, too, that she had a grand way with a can opener. Slowly, he found himself turning toward the old neighborhood.

Shut-up-you-dirty-old-bird found him first. “Awk! So you’re going back? Leaving the high life?”

“I don’t know.” James Dean stopped for a moment. He had a sudden inspiration. He suddenly saw that he wasn’t Dahlia: The Woman was. “’Dahlia is lost, lonely and scared,’” he quoted. “I’m not lost or scared and never lonely. But she is. The Woman.”

“And she has a can opener,” the bird mocked. He and the cat turned at a low growl.

“Nuthin’ wrong with that.” Killer Instinct kept his voice as low and rough as possible for a small dog with—James Dean couldn’t help but notice—very fluffy fur and a diamond-studded collar.

“It's a bit dull there, though,” James Dean said. He thought about the music and dancing at the nightclub. He particularly liked the lights that made spots run all over the floor.

An idea began to form in his feline brain. “Yeah, I’m gong home. But I’m not settling down and I won’t be Dahlia again.”

“You gonna keep running off?” Killer Instinct asked, forgetting to keep his voice low and gruff.

“Not exactly.”

Killer I. and Shut Up pestered James Dean all the way home, but he wouldn’t tell them his plan, and they had to leave when he reached the little house and The Woman with the can opener.

James Dean would have preferred to walk right in, or at the least knock on the door in a confident and domineering manner. But since the door was closed and he was a cat, he settled himself on the doorstep and yowled.

Afterwards, James Dean preferred not to think about the greeting the woman gave him, alternately hugging and scolding him, though she also opened a can of fancy tuna for him, which went a long way toward erasing the offense.

The hard part came later. He kept an eye on the time, and at the right moment—he got a bit of luck here, as The Woman went into the front garden to mess about with her flowers—he made his move.  James Dean followed her out, and, making sure she was watching him, trotted out the front gate.

“Oh, stop, you bad cat!” she cried, and trotted after him, dropping her clippers on the walk, but clutching her huge hat to her head as she went. James Dean made sure he went just fast enough to keep ahead of her without losing her.

He could hear the music from half a block away, and they were playing his song. He headed for the front door, where a man seemed to pick who could come in and who couldn’t by looking at little bits of paper. James Dean darted between his legs into the main room.

The lights were spinning over the floor, and he at once forgot his mission in the excitement of dancing with them.  Behind him, the woman gasped. For once in her life forgetting to be polite, she pushed past the guard, exclaiming “Good heavens, Dahlia!”

The guard turned. “You mean Johnny?”

“Johnny?” The Woman sounded very confused.

“We call him John Travolta on account of how he likes to dance when the disco ball’s on.”

“He?” The Woman gasped. “John Travolta? But her name is Dahlia.”

“She’s a he, ma’am. Sounds like he’s been living with you under false pretenses.” He seemed to find this very funny, and laughed loud and long, but The Woman did not laugh.

By now the manager had come up and she turned to him. “Does she—he—come here often?” She pointed, and he broke into a grin, seeing Johnny dancing with the sparkles.

“You bet. Every night for the last week.”

“Oh!” she gasped. She stood there in her nondescript slacks and sensible shoes, and the foot inside one of those shoes began to tap. Then the other. Then, with a sudden laugh that made the manager think she wasn’t so old after all, she moved onto the dance floor, matching her moves to the cat’s.

James Dean/Johnny Travolta looked around and spotted the parrot watching them.

“Well, Cat, you did it,” the bird cawed.

“Shut up, you dirty old bird,” someone shouted.

The cat gave a small, satisfied “meow” and went on dancing with sparkles, his Human following obediently.
###

©Rebecca M. Douglass, 2014


Don't miss the Pismawallops PTA Back-to-School sale! Ebook just $2.99 until Sept. 10. Visit Amazon or use coupon code PJ97S to get the same price from Smashwords, which sells all formats, including Kindle, Kobo and Nook.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Friday (just barely!) Flash Fiction: Millions of Cats

I wrote the first 200 words of this story for the 200 word challenge back in November.  But even though the story got carried on and finished, I kept wanting to write the story I'd had in my mind when I started.  So here it is.  It's a little long, at 1169 words, but I couldn't cut any more.

 

Millions of Cats


Things never work out according to plan when there are cats involved.  I knew that, and I should have known better than to take the job.  But Keelan made it all sound so easy: we just had to pick up the consignment from Alpha-Centauri 4 and take them to Exilion 17.  Four days, max, and two of them in hyperspace.

“What could go wrong?”  I should really have run when Keelan said that, because I know darned well that anytime those words are uttered a disaster is sure to follow.

Unfortunately, we needed cash, and the cat people had it.  So we went and picked up the load of cats.

That was where the trouble began.  They were supposed to be crated, sedated, and ready to be stowed in the cargo hold.  But when we arrived, a team of cat-wranglers was still chasing them around a pen.  We had to wait an extra three days for all of them to be properly prepared for flight.

Once they had them ready, things seemed to look up.  The crates were loaded, and all was quiet.  The cat people promised that they would not wake up before delivery, as long as we made delivery inside four days.  They gave us the base payment, and assured us that the farmers of Exilion 17 were desperate for rodent-control mechanisms, and would pay a bonus for prompt delivery.

The trouble began almost as soon as we left orbit.  Not only did an odor start to permeate the atmosphere, but I began sneezing.  We’d never smelled that odor before, but we knew what it had to be.  I contacted Feline Solutions and asked about it.

“Oh, yes, they do excrete some while in the sedated state.  It’s at a much-reduced level and should not be any problem in the short time you will have them aboard.”

“Why am I sneezing?”

“Some people do suffer allergic reactions to cats.  If your ship air system is working properly, this should not be a problem.”

I wanted to argue.  Our ship’s systems worked just fine, and not only was I still sneezing, but my nose was running.  My eyes itched, too.  Further, we had only just left Alpha-Centauri 4 and already the cats were “excreting” in quantities that made the whole ship smell.  There was something fishy about this deal.  At least we’d checked the crates; they really were full of sedated cats.

Keelan and I talked it over.  All we could think to do was to make the delivery as fast as possible, and hope the bonus would be enough to pay for a thorough cleaning of the ship.  The base payment wouldn’t cover much more than costs.

We spent the next day getting clear of the Alpha-Centauri system.  I spent half the day in the auto-doc, getting allergy treatments.  If you think that’s fun, you’ve never met our ’doc.  By evening, I was full of meds and we were ready to make the jump to hyperspace.  That was when the next problem hit. 

Keelan found anomalies in the booster tests, and we ended up spending the next four hours running diagnostics.  The smell from the cargo bay was making both our noses twitch, and every hour’s delay reduced the chances we’d nail the bonus.  When we finally got it all fixed up, it was nearly midnight, and we had to check the programming three times, we were so tired.   The allergy meds didn’t help.

I suppose that was why I didn’t catch my error.  Everything checked out okay, and with a sense of relief, we hit the hyperspace button.

For the next two days, I alternated spending time in the ’doc and trying to adjust the filtration and air recycling system to get rid of the cat smell, as well as whatever it was about cats that I was allergic to.  The only thing we didn’t do was enter the cargo bay and check on the crates ourselves.  We’d been assured that there was no need for us to do anything; the crates would keep the cats sedated—in something like suspended animation, really—until arrival.  There were no user-serviceable parts.

Just when we were due to drop out of hyperspace, leaving us just a day of impulse drive to approach the planet, we made two discoveries.

I made the first one, which was nice, since I’d made the mistake in the first place.  Fortunately, my miscalculation was only in a single digit five spaces to the right of the decimal point, so it just meant we’d be spending an extra six hours in impulse drive.  That was bad enough news, of course, since we’d lost a similar amount of time on the other end.  We could certainly kiss the bonus goodbye, and the four-day sedation window was closing fast.

Keelan and I exchanged looks, but neither of us dared to say anything.  I’d made the mistake, but he’d uttered the fatal words, “what could go wrong?”  Maybe just to keep himself from making any comments about my work, Keelan took himself off to look into the cargo bay.  He came back at top speed.

“The cats!  They’re awake, and they, they,” he stuttered over the words, “they’re making kittens!”

“You mean there are cats mating in our cargo bay?”  It was a bit much, but no reason to get hysterical.

“No!  They’re having kittens!  All of them!  The blasted fools at Feline Solutions gave us a load of pregnant cats all due to give birth!”

My first reaction was panic.  My second was to read the cargo invoice very carefully.  When I’d finished, I looked up with the first smile since the fiasco began.  It would also be the last until it was over.

“We are contracted to deliver 325 female cats and 50 males.  It says nothing here about kittens or a state of pregnancy.  I think we might make a profit after all.”  Even after the deep cleaning.

“We sell the extra kittens on our own account?” he asked.  “Is that legal?” 

“As far as I can tell.”

“Then those cats need a midwife, to make sure they all survive.”  We exchanged a long look.

“I’m allergic,” I pointed out.

“I know nothing about childbirth,” he pointed out.

I would have given anything to be able to say I didn’t either, but I’m his mother.  “Program the kitchen to make chopped tuna.”  I took down my emergency respirator and positioned it carefully on my face.  “I’m going in.”

That’s how I came to spend the last day of the trip running a maternity ward for felines while Keelan handled the docking.  By the time we were done, we had three times the cats we started out with, I had a rash that itched for a week, and we ended with a substantial profit even after the deep cleaning.

Even so, I will never, ever, take cats on board again.  Despite the cleaning, the smell lingers.  And every now and then I break out sneezing.

###

Author's note: I must state that I love cats.  I am also as allergic as the narrator of the story, and will never take cats on board my space craft.  But I don't think they are bad luck nor are they a curse on a ship.

Gratuitous cute kitten/cat photos!
Snagged from free photo site with no attribution that I could find.
photo copyright Rebecca Douglass

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Wendig Challenge: the first 200 words

I'm not posting this one as my Friday Flash Fiction (or maybe I am), because with the holiday I may or may not make it to Friday.  The Wendig Challenge from here to the end of the year is to write a story, 200 words at a time.  Naturally, to keep us on our toes, we have to keep rotating--writing the next 200 words on a different story each week.

My offering for this week is


Millions of Cats


Things never worked out according to plan when there were cats involved.  I knew that, and I should have known better than to take the job.  Either don’t try to plan or stay far from cats, and I knew which would have been better for me.  But Keelan made it all sound so easy: we just had to pick up the consignment from Alpha-Centauri 4 and take them to Exilion 17.  Four days, max, and two of them in hyperspace.

“What could go wrong?”  I should really have run when Keelan said that, because you know as well as I do that anytime those words are uttered you should run, very fast, in the opposite direction.

Unfortunately, we needed cash, and the cat people had it.  So we went and picked up the load of cats.

That was where the trouble first began.  They were supposed to be crated, sedated, and ready to be picked up by fork lift and stowed in the cargo hold.  But when we arrived, a team of cat-wranglers was still chasing them around a pen.  We had to wait an extra three days for all of them to be properly prepared for flight.


####
This has been continued in at least two directions.  Here's part two and part three of one of those continuations.

And here's part four. And part five.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Flash Fiction Friday: The Cat Did It.

Last week, Chuck Wendig challenged us all to come up with the first line of a story, one compelling enough to get our fellow Wendigos to choose to write the story.  This week, we wrote those stories.  I picked a line by "jebdarsh" which lent itself to my style (I don't have to tell you what the line was, since it's what?  The opening line!).   It wasn't an easy choice--there were several lines I could have run with, but this lent itself best to my kids' stories.

Here's the result:

The Cat Did It


Now, I’m not saying the cat was plotting to kill me.  But.

It started with football practice.  I’m not really supposed to be there anyway, since no one thinks a girl should play football.  Mom says nobody should play football, and she was only letting me play as long as it was flag football.  That gave me one more year.  After that, the only options were to convince her I could play tackle ball or quit.  Maybe I could find a rugby team.  Bet Mom would love that!

But at practice last week, we were horsing around, tackling each other and wrestling and stuff, only I looked around and saw my cat.  He was just sitting on the sidelines watching us, but he wasn’t supposed to be there at all.  He’s supposed to stay in the house.  He raised a hind leg to wash his backside, and I started to turn toward him.  I meant to catch him and take him home so he wouldn’t get hit by a car.  I mean, I was trying to keep him safe, even though I don’t really like him.  But just as I turned, Jakob hit me.

I was all off balance and twisted up, so I fell and hurt my ankle.  By the time I finished yelling at Jakob, Boswell—that’s what Mom named the cat—was gone.  And Coach said my ankle might be sprained and he called Mom to take me to the doctor.  She had to leave work early and she chewed me out all the way to the hospital.

That finished my season, probably the last season of football I’d ever get to play, and I missed the last two weeks.  I was stuck with a taped-up ankle and a pair of crutches mostly good for whacking people.  Jakob was off the team for hurting me, too.  I thought that was pretty unfair, since he hadn’t meant to hurt me, and I’d actually started the rough-housing.  But I didn’t feel as bad about him as I did about me, because Mom said I wasn’t playing any more blood sports, whatever she meant by that.  She said I should learn to play tennis.  Tennis!  No way am I putting on one of those silly short skirts.

Then the cat started in.  Mom says poor Boswell just wants attention, but why does he have to come looking for it when I’m on the stairs?  He’d come and rub around my foot and my crutches, and Mom said he was just being a cat, and I needed to be careful.

I’ve always suspected him of wanting to do away with us all, if only he could figure out the can opener.  And yesterday he scored again.  I was pretty sure he’d managed to get my ankle sprained.  He probably had hoped I’d break my neck, but I’m pretty tough.  Anyway, it was definitely his fault I was hurt, sneaking out and over to the practice field and all. 

But yesterday morning he got down to it and started really playing dirty.  He’d figured out that I wouldn’t start down the stairs if he was anywhere around, so he held off his attack until I was already halfway down.

Lucky for me, he waited a little too long.  I was only three steps from the bottom when he came out of Mom and Dad’s room like a furry lightning bolt, and flew down the stairs right into my left crutch, just as I was making the move from the third step to the second.

Boswell knocked that crutch out from under me, and bang!  Down I went.  Then he walked up to me where I was lying on the floor yelling, and gave me an evil look.  He said one loud “Meow!” then sat down and licked his butt in the most insulting way.  He stalked off when Mom came running.

Of course, Mom didn’t believe me when I said Boswell had done it on purpose.  She told me to be more careful, and brought me an ice pack for where I’d bumped my head, and another for my ankle because it was time to ice it again anyway.

Then she left me on the sofa and went off to work.  As soon as she was gone, Boswell padded back in and sat on his haunches and just looked at me.  I knew what he was thinking.  At one point he tried to dash up and lick my face.  I mean, ewwww!  I’d just seen what he used that tongue for!  I got my hands up just in time and shoved him away, pretty hard.

Every time I got up to go get a snack or pee or anything, he was right there underfoot.  Mom says he felt bad for hurting me and rubbing up against me was his way of showing his love, but I know better.  Cats don’t do remorse, and they love food, not people.

I’ve taken to whacking him some with my crutch, so he’ll stay away.  Mom got mad when she saw me do it, but I’ve taught Boswell I’m not going to go without a fight.    I’m just afraid he’ll manage to get into my room while I’m asleep.  He could smother me in my sleep and I’d never know it.  He’s always tried to sleep on my face. 

I know he’s plotting to kill me, and I know why.

I’m just a practice run.  He and his cronies—I hear them all yowling about it at night, when Mom thinks he’s safely in his basket behind the dryer—are plotting to take over the world.  I saw Boswell with three neighbor cats yesterday.  They didn't’ see me looking out the window—I stayed out of sight behind the curtain.  But I saw them, and I know what they’re up to.

I’ve seen it.  The cat is plotting to kill me, and anyone else who won’t become the willing slave of catdom.  I’m guessing they’ll keep Mom around to run the can opener.



Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Furballs--a Halloween story

Furballs


It should have been just another day.  Get up, get dressed, have breakfast and go to school.  Malkina ran into the first snag as soon as she tried to pull on her underwear.  Reaching behind herself, she felt the furry protuberance.  Mystified, she moved to the mirror--a full-length mirror her mother insisted she have in her room, but which Malkina mostly ignored.  Why should she even look, when she was so hopelessly ordinary?  The most ordinary girl in the fifth grade.
Kicking aside a modest pile of books and dirty laundry so she could stand in front of the mirror, Malkina twisted and turned until she saw herself.  Saw the long, striped, furry tail she held with her left hand.  The tip of the tail twitched and she dropped it, jumping away from the mirror.
“I think I’d better wear a skirt today,” she muttered, turning back to the closet.
The next shock came when she began to brush her hair.
“Ouch!”  The brush had hit something awfully sensitive.  Again she explored with her fingers first, afraid to look.  High up on the left side of her head, a furry wedge emerged from the tangled hair.  She didn’t even have to look in the mirror to know there was a match for it on the other side.
Ears.  Cat ears, and a cat’s tail.  Suddenly panicked, Malkina shook off a slipper and checked her foot.  Still reassuringly human.  Dashing across the room, brush forgotten in her hand, she inspected every inch of herself in the suddenly-useful full-length mirror.
Everything seemed to be, well, ordinary.  Everything except that tail, and the furry little ears.  Watching carefully in the mirror, Malkina finished brushing her hair, mounding it over the ears and holding a big wave in place with hair gel.

At the breakfast table, Mom didn’t notice anything.  She never did.  Half asleep, interested mostly in her coffee and getting everyone fed and out the door to the bus, Mom never really fully opened her eyes until mid-morning.
Malkina’s older brother noticed, though.
“Whew!” He whistled.  “Got a hot date or something?  Can’t remember the last time I saw you in a skirt.”
Bob could be so annoying.  For one thing, he’d gotten a nice, normal name, not like Malkina.  For another, he couldn’t seem to stop teasing her.  He still thought she was a little girl, and that comments like that were funny.
“Just thought I needed a. . . change,” Malkina said.  “In a rut, you know.  Always the same.”
Walking to the bus stop Malkina found that the tail caused some trouble.  She’d had to pick a fairly long skirt to cover it, but the tail, unable to wave the way a cat’s tail should properly wave, twisted around her legs and threatened to trip her.

When she got to school, things got both better and worse.  Better, because her best friend was waiting just inside and grabbed her in a hug.  Worse, because she was dressed much like Malkina.  She whispered,
“You too?”
Adrianna nodded, looking scared and excited at the same time.  “It worked!  Our incantation worked!”
“ But that was just a joke!  Magic doesn’t really work,” Malkina objected, evidence to the contrary twitching beneath her skirt.
Adrianna shrugged.  “Guess maybe it does.”
“But what are we going to do?”
“Have the best Halloween costumes ever, for one thing!”
“But I can’t even sit right!  The tail’s in the way, and when I brushed my hair, it hurt my ears.”
“We’ll work it out.”
During the math test that followed morning recess, Malkina began to find the advantages of being part cat.  She always panicked a bit on a test, but when she put her hand up to her head, her fingers found an ear.  She scratched lightly behind it, the way she did with the neighbor’s cat, and felt calmer at once.  A twitch or two of her tail made her happy again when she got her Social Studies paper back with a lot of red marks.  Maybe this wasn’t so bad.

It wasn’t until they were out trick-or-treating, dressed in black leotards with real tails and ears protruding, that the two remembered they’d worked more than one incantation.
They were three streets over from Malkina’s house, trying to decide if they’d knock on the Burdocks’ door or skip it.  They usually had good treats, but Max Burdock was the biggest pain in their class.  Such a big pain that. . .
“Uh-oh,” Adrianna muttered.  “Do you suppose. . . ?”
Malkina felt her tail expand as the fur stood on end.  They had followed up the incantation that gave them cat features with one to turn the annoying Max into a pig.  And he hadn’t been at school today.  Was that because he had a curly tail and a snout?  Would his parents guess who’d done it and get them into trouble?
Caution came too late.  They were at the gate, and from behind it they heard a dreadful snorting and snuffling.  Malkina remembered that they had called Max a big pig, when a huge boar, with tusks as long as her arm, burst from the yard.  She had time to remember a few of the other things they’d included, giggling, in their incantation, as they girls turned to run from the giant, red-eyed, fire-breathing demon they had turned loose on the neighborhood.
This can’t end well! Malkina thought, despairing.

It didn’t.